Friday, October 21, 2011

Look at my cute baby and ...

 Join the Fill in the Blank fun at Lauren's blog, 'the little things we do'!
1.   Nothing says fall like   brisk winds, hoodies, bonfires and beautiful leaves .

2.   My favorite autumnal tradition is  the Centralia Halloween parade! I love the entire day from the Chili Cook-off to the 2.5 hour parade!

3.  My favorite fall treat is apple pie, apple tarts, apple cake, apple crisp... Give me apples over pumpkin any day   .

4. Fall makes me think of  romance     because   hayrides and bonfires and pumpkin patches are meant for cuddling couples  .

5.  Autumn free form word association, go!  crisp, harvest, cinnamon, crunch.

6.  My go-to outfit in the fall is    similar to my outfits in the spring and summer, except I exchange flip-flops for shoes and socks. I wish I had super cute fall clothes, but I'm poor and have to make things work in every season.

7.  My favorite fall holiday is (Halloween or Thanksgiving)   yikes! Tough call. I love the fun spirit of Halloween and the vibe that anything can happen, but I also love getting together with family and eating delicious food.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Rampage Minor

Our darling princess is really more like a UFC fighter/ninja, so she gets called by her new nickname quite frequently these days. In my life, I have never been around babies on a regular basis, and I admit, I thought they remained pretty small and stationary for a long time, but now I know I was wrong. Somehow, Jon and I have a baby who is not only precociously physically active but also dangerously clever when it comes to getting what she wants at all costs. 

At fourteen months old now, Daphne weighs 21 lbs and instead of that consisting of sugar and spice, she seems to be made of springs and wires. Lately she has been climbing onto everything and has figured out how to scale the ottoman that previously prevented her from wreaking havoc in the kitchen. She's especially fond of climbing onto the couch to reach the light switch that is so incredibly exciting to turn off. Also, she does this a lot.

She can't just sit in it leisurely, oh no, she has use it for acrobatics.

She uses it more than we do.

She is nearly immune to the scrapes and bruises that result from her many tumbles and hardly ever cries. Once, she climbed the couch arm after I repeatedly told her not to and when she fell, she defiantly looked at me! However, just the other day, she fell hard on the bridge of her nose. It was awful. Even then, she hardly cried, but her nose was so swollen and bruised. The WEIRDEST part of this experience was that later during the day, RICE came out of her nose. Yes, you read that correctly. She had apparently shoved some rice up her nose a couple days earlier and the fall dislodged it. Yeah. That about sums her up right there.

She was fine, though, and her nose is healing nicely. However, this incident came just after she recovered from Roseola. That was a scary few days when my baby looked like this.

Happy but rashy
So, finally, she has recovered from both. To celebrate, she had a couch party with her friends.

Some other fun Daphne updates:
She learned how to say "Uh oh!" and uses it appropriately. 
She blows on her food (like I do) even when it's not hot.
She gives kisses to Jon and me and her dolls constantly.
She dances like Justin Timberlake when she hears music ... and sometimes when there isn't any..
The other day, Jon was doing squats and she started doing them too.

As you can see, everything she does is brilliant, hilarious, and adorable.


Saturday, October 15, 2011


Yesterday, on a FITBF, there was a question about best friends. I admitted that I don't have one. I didn't know how much that bothered me until I thought about answering that question and then when a later commenter told me she was praying for me to get one, it kind of affected me more than I expected.

I look back on my life and there has always been a group of girls who enriched my life with their friendships. I was defined by them. I told them everything and they told me everything. We were sensitive to each other's peculiarities, kept secrets to the death, and never had a crush on the same boy. In high school, the range of friends widened and I had good friends and acquaintances from many social circles. Also in high school, I found out what having a real best friend was like.

It's strange to think back on, to try and define that friendship, particularly because it's been broken and I can only see it with nostalgic eyes. But, I remember being consumed by her. I wanted to dress like her, talk like she did, read the same books, listen to the same music, but I also wanted to be someone about whom she felt the same. Like girls in a movie, we traded clothes, talked on the phone for hours, gossiped relentlessly, and told each other how awesome we were daily.

We had inside jokes that either annoyed everyone else or no one even noticed because we only really cared what the other thought anyway. I could tell her everything, and I did, and I think she told me everything, too.

We stayed friends through college, though it was at a distance. In college, I met another circle of girls who I still absolutely love to this day. We have been through INSANITY together, and we know more about each other than probably anyone ever will. College is where you are most vulnerable, and those girls have my back (and vice versa) forever.

My best friend and I definitely didn't stay as close as we once were when we could walk to the other's house, but we were still close. Even after we graduated, we talked on the phone a couple times a week, we visited, we stayed connected and invested in each other. Looking back, I can say now that is what I thought, but now I'm not entirely sure.

During college and immediately after is the period of my life that I squandered with drugs and alcohol. Honestly? There are blank spots in my memories, periods of time that I can't quite place, even people that I don't recall. It was a very selfish, devastating, and unhealthy time, and I'm sure this is when my friendship started to shatter.

Here's the thing: I didn't know it at the time. I thought we were still forever friends.

When I got married at 26, my best friend was my maid of honor. It wasn't until the day of my wedding that I realized that I was wrong. She was distant and seemed offended by something, but I still don't know what. After my wedding, we talked a handful of times, but then she stopped answering when I called, and she never called me back.

It took me months to accept the truth, that we were over as best friends. I kept calling. I emailed. I tried to apologize, but I didn't know exactly what was wrong. I have agonized over this and grieved over the loss of her in my life for years.

I have created a list of reasons why I think she may have cut me from her life, and I have tried to think of how I could fix our relationship. I finally realized nothing would have made this better, or she would have just told me and we could have moved on from there.

When I was 23, I moved to a small town where everyone knew everyone and I had no reason to invest in anyone. I had acquaintances aplenty and I still had strong friendships with my college girls and my bestfriend. After I got married at 26, everyone started getting married and starting families, and we still love each other but the distance makes strong friendships difficult.

I made friends with some older ladies at my church, who I still love and we are still close, but I really yearned for friends going through similar experiences- being newlyweds, talking about starting a family, just peers who could relate.

At the same time, I definitely feared making those kinds of friendships. There is SO much insecurity involved with "finding" friends. Everyone seems cooler, prettier, more together or whatever and in this town, everyone already had lifelong friends anyway.

So, when one day I was invited to join a small group Bible study with a group of women in exactly my age group and circumstances, I was completely nervous and excited.

This turned out to be the greatest friendship experience of my life. We started meeting three years ago, and we have gone through so much together and have petitioned in prayer for each other in so many different ways. We definitely love each other in Christlike relationship free from gossip and drama.

Unfortunately, lately, it just seems like everyone is going her own direction. I totally understand this, I just regret it. I can't help but have some hurt feelings when I find out other girls are getting together without me or when I call someone all the time and no one is really calling me. I've been vulnerable with these girls and I feel like I have invested so much, and now, it seems like we've gone back to being surface friends.

Friendships are so hard. I can't tell who really wants me to invest anymore. I can't tell if I'm calling too much or what. I know that I need real friendships and I'm willing to reach out again and again, but I'm really afraid to get hurt, too.

I've been in prayer about this a lot. I feel like God is telling me to reach out to other people who feel the same way. So, I have been investing in other people's lives more, girls who don't have strong friendships and who also want to feel that bond. It's hard starting over with new people, but I know from experience that friendships are worth the time and effort and awkwardness.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Getting back to normal with a ...

Things are getting back to normal around our house as Daphne is starting to feel better! So, back to being more positive withhhhhh Fill in the Blank Friday! Play along at Lauren's blog!

1.   The most selfless thing I've ever done was    breastfeeding. Nursing my baby has, at times, been all-consuming, painful, tiring, draining (no pun intended), and inconvenient. Of course, it is also the most perfect nutrition for Daphne and it has led to hours of bonding and has been one of the most wonderful experiences of my life.

2.   When it comes to working out  I actually love it, but I have a million excuses that keep me from doing it.

3.  A woman should always  use the sensitivity that God gave us to be more aware of how we can better help others .

4. I wish I could   train for a marathon     and then I'd   feel amazing about myself   .

5.  A best friend is  hard to find. It seems like I have lots of acquaintances and friends who I love, but lately it seems like everyone is wrapped up in their own lives and it's getting harder and harder to get together. I genuinely wish I had a best friend. I used to, and I miss being able to just be myself with her.

6.  I can't get enough of    OMG Make It or Break It. Lately, I have been obsessed with this show. It combines two of my loves: gymnastics and dramatic soap opera type shows!

7.  This weekend I am   going to the pumpkin patch with Daphne for the first time! I can't wait to spend time with Jon and our baby who is finally healthy again.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


This happened.

We took Daphne to the doctor who said, yes, she does have a virus and it is contagious.

As a result, I cannot babysit any children this week.

As a result, we cannot buy groceries this week.

A friend, who was unaware of this situation, gave me $50 because she felt God wanted her to.

Praise the Lord!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Calm during chaos

Jon and I are in a season where our faith and our resolve is being tested. 

Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. Romans 4:20-21

When I quit my job, we knew that our finances would dwindleWe've been here before, when we first got married. We know what it's like to cut every non-essential item from our budget. We're here again, and God has provided for us. Every month since I've not received a paycheck, we have been able to pay our bills and buy groceries and gas. We were making it!

This weekend, Jon got into a very minor car accident that was legally his fault but really he could not have avoided. Everyone was fine and the other car was in good shape, but our car was smashed. On top of the $500 insurance deductible, we also have to pay his $120 ticket.

To many of my friends, this would feel like an inconvenience. Maybe they would have to scale back on not going out to dinner so often or maybe they would wait to buy the boots they've had their eye on. Unfortunately, for us, it means that's it. We finally can't make it. We are in over our heads with no financial hope in sight.

Now, we know we have hope in Jesus. In fact, He's the only thing keeping us sane. I believe in all my heart that He delights to help His inheritors, His beloved, and I truly believe that this is something that He wants to help us through. I know that it's in these seasons, these valleys, that we have to turn to Him and BELIEVE that what He says is true. We will wait on Him, we will trust Him.

On top of the car issue this weekend, my baby is sick. I don't know what's going on with her. She is definitely not herself. Her eyes are half-closed most of the time, she's had a fever on and off for the past three days, and she CANNOT find contentment anywhere but in my arms. She would've crawled back into my womb, if it was possible.

Again, I know that I just have to trust. God loves Daphne even more than I do, and He will bring her through this.