Sunday, March 20, 2011

“There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish; the thing is to do as much as you can in the time that you have." Dickens

I want to update my blog, really I do, but some days I don't have time to make out with my husband, which is infinitely more important, so really, my blog is suffering. I also don't have time to do dishes or clean my bathroom; also important. But, it's an incredibly beautiful Sunday, Jon and Daphne are both sleeping, and I do have time. No, the bathroom and dishes aren't done, but oh.well.

The lack of time has been an unfortunate theme lately in the Minor household. Jon and I have had many tearful discussions about how we can find time to spend together, quality time as a family. He works midnights, which is a TERRIBLE shift if you care about interacting with normal people. I work days at a company that is 35 minutes from home, so I'm gone 9 hours of our day. Daphne spends more time with Cheri than she does with either of us, and we spend approximately 1.5 hours together as a family each day.

We don't even have time to take a decent family picture
So, tearful conversations and a couple of arguments (ahem), but no options surfaced. Jon really likes his schedule because it enables him to write his book while he is at work. He wouldn't quit anyway, if he didn't have another job lined up, and he doesn't know what kind of job he would even look for. I really love my job, and it's an important ministry. I'm really invested there with the kids I work with and the staff. Plus I make a little more money and I pay for my insurance and Daphne's.

I don't know which one of us brought it up, but we started talking about me quitting my job. It seemed crazy, because of the above mentioned reasons, but once we started talking about it, that option became pretty attractive. Then God left us no room for doubt. All kinds of confirmations began to come in that this was exactly what God wanted us to do. Between talking to people who had done the same thing and hearing Bible studies about the value of family, and then, finally, hearing my mom say that it was a good idea (the one person who I felt would be most against the plan), we knew it was the right thing to do.

This is definitely the scariest decision I've ever personally made. Ten years ago, I was a liberal feminist going to college to earn a degree that would further me professionally. My career was most important. My status and independence were all that mattered to me. Then, God started wooing me.

I've learned that Christians serve a Higher purpose - God's purpose. And, I know that serve is the operative word. In my current case, it is imperative that I 1.serve God and 2. serve my family. God is asking me to step out on faith, to change my heart to that of a person who puts her family's needs ahead of her own, and to give up independence and pride in my job. It's a hard calling, it's scary to have faith, but!

I wanted to deny that God was really behind this decision. I wanted to think of every way in which we were making the wrong choice. Money is a big motivator. However, God kept making it more and more clear. And, it came down to this: Do I believe in Him? I mean, really? Do I believe that an invisible being is directing me to give up a lot of our income, our insurance, and my professional life in order to trust and obey Him?

Well. Yes. I do. I know now that believing in God is about acting on that belief. It's definitely one thing to say we believe and quite another to live like we do. So, that's why this is so exciting. I know where I stand now. I've been tested and I feel like Jon and I are being obedient and faithful. (This certainly doesn't mean I've become a better person or anything like that - I'm still definitely a jerk sometimes).

I've given quite a bit of notice at my job, for a couple of reasons, so it will be about a month before I get to be at home with Daphne. But, Jon and I are counting the seconds. Neither of us can wait!

1 comment:

  1. I am so very excited for you too. It's an amazing thing to step out in faith and watch God work! You are awesome for your obedience!